Angry Reader Gets a Taste of Me >=D

This is taken from the comments on a site I was looking at and I noticed a reader decided to be a bit harsh in regards to the entire site.  So I decided to offer my services (for free I might add) to help defend their "honor".  Here is a link to the actual page this all occurred on  or feel free to read below. HappyPlace Site

Email to David Thorne #12 *Explicit/Hostile*

Hello Asshole…I mean David,

I must admit that I have found it a tad bit infuriating that you have refused to respond to my emails.  Not to the point that I would try to find you and ritualistically murder you.  Presently I’m just passed the point of insulting you with images of your book and yourself in foul places.  That leaves me with writing you a nasty email depicting how infuriating you are.  The next stage involves a voodoo doll, a small bit of you, and pins.

Email to David Thorne #11

Dear David,

Y  o  u    a  r  e    s  o    v  e  r  y    s  l  o  w    m  y    f  r i  e  n  d.  I had hoped that by spacing it out and slowing it down for you you might be able to recognize your lack of proficiency when it comes to checking and responding to email.  Perhaps you already know how unbelievably slow you are thanks to my previous email of yourself, your book, and the turtles.  You still haven’t even finished the race in case you were wondering, nor your book.  Actually a search party was released to find you both but they still have yet to.  Where could you be?

Email to David Thorne #10

Dear David,

I must say you are very slow at responding to my emails.  I took a photo of a race between two turtles, your book, and the photo of you.  Not only are the turtles beating you, but your book which is inanimate is ahead too.  Or have you not seen my emails yet again due to your “filter” sending my emails to the ‘Other stuff’ folder?

Concerned,

Yorc

PS. It’s actually Cory again…just making certain the filter doesn’t nab me.

Email to David Thorne #9

Hello David,

Well that explains it all.  You must really have a pathetic email filter though.  Seeing as the spelling of my name is Cory (notice no e) and your acquaintance Corey (notice with an e) is a bit different.  Perhaps if your email filter could look at the names next to each other it would have better luck.  Can you show this to the filter for me as I don’t want it misplacing emails from me any further:

CORY – Not ‘Other stuff’

COREY – Place in ‘Other stuff’

Email FROM David Thorne #1

Hello Cory,

Thank you for the email. Unfortunately, I know another Corey who is extremely annoying and I tagged anything containing the name Corey to automatically go to my 'Other stuff' folder. As I only check this folder when I need a favour from Corey (I need a desk carried upstairs), it was only by chance I saw your email. Thanks for the photo and I am sure Trisha is fine.

Regards, David

Email to David Thorne #8

Dear David,

Someone brought to my attention your latest post Opinions are like nipples.  Very funny!  One thing that struck me as odd though, the date of your emails with Ella.  05/31/2011.  Interesting seeing as I have been sending you emails since 5/19/2011.  I your most dedicated fan, admirer, and co-owner in our future business.  You respond to that fat lard and not me.  I decided to let Lucius and Barfelius have a day to themselves out of the spotlight.  So that you, in a certain respect and your book can “shine” together.  It only took a second to decide what to do with your book and the photo of you I kept with me at all times.  I introduced them to a place my cats frequent numerous times a day.  I have attached a photo and I’m sure you will agree it is a very fitting place.