Dear David,
Someone brought to my attention your latest post Opinions are like nipples. Very funny! One thing that struck me as odd though, the date of your emails with Ella. 05/31/2011. Interesting seeing as I have been sending you emails since 5/19/2011. I your most dedicated fan, admirer, and co-owner in our future business. You respond to that fat lard and not me. I decided to let Lucius and Barfelius have a day to themselves out of the spotlight. So that you, in a certain respect and your book can “shine” together. It only took a second to decide what to do with your book and the photo of you I kept with me at all times. I introduced them to a place my cats frequent numerous times a day. I have attached a photo and I’m sure you will agree it is a very fitting place.
This reminds me of a time back in school when I wanted nothing more than to be friends with Trisha Reynolds. I would say hi to her every time I saw her. She usually would return the favor. I even began to leave her anonymous gifts near an old abandoned house she passed on her way home from school. I did this over the course of many months. And I saw each day as she opened them from the bush I would hide in how delighted she was to get them. I finally worked up the courage and one day as she opened her gift I approached her and told her it had been me the entire time. She looked at me in utter disappointment and from what I can remember said she never wanted to see me again. Things get hazy from there and I went to live in a special place with pillow-like walls and got to hug myself as much as I wanted. I wish I could visit there but it’s gone, it caught fire and everyone died when I lost my memory. But Trisha was never found, I wonder if she survived.
In the end I guess seeing as you will never be responding to me or sending me even one of the infinities worth of T-Shirts, we are finished. There will be no magician work, religion, or business. We could have had it all baby, we could have had it all.
Defeated,
Cory
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