Email to David Thorne #7

Dear Davey Jones Locker,

Feels like that’s where I have been.  Hope my lack of emails didn’t worry you.  I was working in my workspace late last Thursday trying to abstain from crying over the loss of my coworker to slavery.  When suddenly that inter-dimensional vortex from earlier in the week re-opened.  I thought that matter could only travel in one direction through the vortex, boy was I wrong.  I found myself in a world where magic is real!  Exactly the same as that of the Harry Potter Books by J.K. Rowling.  I actually met Dumbledore and he told me that our two worlds exist side by side.  That Ms. Rowling was once the most powerful witch ever and decided to cross over to our world but to do so it cost her all of her magical powers.  So she started writing books about her life before.   The J.K. actually stands for Jundlaploo Kashinki.  I know funny name.

How did I get back you ask?  Well I set out over the next 4 days to become the most powerful wizard ever so as to have the power to return.  I managed to squeeze 120 years into those 4 days by using a Time-Turner and studying with Harry Potter himself.  He goes by HP for short and he’s taller than the books make him out.  Once I finally had enough power I cast a spell to return myself to the age I was upon leaving our world, I learned how to do that like 30 years ago.  Then I used every ounce of my power to create a vortex to bring me back.  Or so they thought.  I actually became far more powerful than any realized.  I plan to become the greatest magician ever!  Sure I may be able to dominate the cosmos but wouldn’t you rather please a bunch of crying 7 year olds at a birthday party?  I figure in addition to selling the half an infinities worth of T-Shirts you will be giving me and the TW(s)D religion we will also offer magician services for birthdays, get-togethers, and bachelor/bachelorette parties.

Speaking of parties, check out Lucius and the cat I sent as a substitution for late fees.  Do you know where they are?  They are in The Wizarding World of Harry Potter in Orlando, Florida.  Specifically this picture was taken of them riding The Flight of the Hippogryph.  It is quite the terrifying ride if you are a vegetarian or vegan, but seeing as our friends are dedicated meat eaters not to worry.  Their constant consumption of meats makes them strong, not only in body but in mind.  Sorry for the poor quality of the photo several factors contributed to this.  1) They were actually moving on the roller coaster.  2) My digital camera was stolen by a band of pirates.  3) This is actually a drawing I created with magic and wasn’t used to casting spells in our world.  The two had quite the time in Harry Potter world, so much so that they agreed on a name for the cat I sent as a substitution for late fees.  From this day forth the cat I sent as a substitution for late fees will be known as Barfelius.  Barfelius sounds regal, wizard-like, and shares the same ending as Lucius so is perfect wouldn’t you say?

Thanks

Cory