Dear Thorn Bush,
Ouch…I pricked myself on your name. It’s ok, I forgive you. I know you would never do anything intentionally to harm me the greatest person in your life. And if you did do anything intentionally to harm me that it would be for a reason you would eventually reveal to me. Most likely a series of events would sprout from this which you have already foreseen the consequences of, what with your ability to travel through time. I myself find time traveling overrated as you can imagine from one of my earlier emails.
Today is a sad day I’m afraid. One of my coworkers I have become quite fond of is leaving today. She has been sold into slave labor by her husband and children. She will be forced to clean filthy retched places and do filthy retched things as you can imagine. I’m sure you spoke with Lucius about his time in captivity and what he endured. I imagine hers will be 1000 times worse. She is such a kind and gentle soul, able to speak to animals and her tears have healing powers. She will be dearly missed. Especially when paper cuts occur and severely starving sasquatch attack and we have no way to communicate with them.
Our friends Lucius and the cat I drew as a substitution for late fees decided to visit a place that my coworker is quite fond of. It is a Japanese garden in Ireland. I know how odd. They felt like going somewhere relaxing to reflect on how much they too will miss her. As well as on the things they learned about Native American heritage from the museum. The cat I drew as a substitution for late fees was very fond of the red bridge. Lucius wasn’t so much, he seemed convinced a troll was going to grab him from under the bridge and pull him under. Perhaps to do filthy and retched things to him.
I had some more thoughts about our business together. I think it will now be more focused on chapels to spread TW(s)D with half of the chapel being devoted to selling the half an infinity of T-shirts you will be sending me any day now. I know, my brilliance is astounding. Oh stop! In order to practice TW(s)D within the chapel your followers will be required to purchase a new T-shirt every time. Even if they leave to go to their cars and come back. Forget fortune 500 company, with this plan in no time the business will be the richest in the world. You can take that to the bank, as soon as you send those T-shirts.
Thanks
Cory
No comments:
Post a Comment